My Burnout Story: Overexertion amongst Health and Wellness Students
This blog post contains a story about a traumatic accident (e.g., head injury, hospital emergency room) that may be triggering to some readers. Please read at your discretion. If you would like to skip this story, move ahead to the section titled “Takeaways from my experience with burnout.”
I often sound like a broken record when people ask me how I’m doing:
Oh, you know, I’m busy, tired, lots going on at work, looking forward to the weekend.
You’ve heard me say this countless times if you know me well. But, what changes week-to-week is how I’m really doing. How am I coping with an extra busy work week? How am I managing my emotions? Do I recognize when I need to dial things back?
Lately, I’ve learned to answer these questions reasonably well, but don’t get me wrong: as a recovering, self-proclaimed people pleaser full of initiative, I can forget to ask myself these questions and let things get too far.
I’m proud of myself for developing a toolkit to bring myself out of burnout, but that didn’t come without many failed attempts in the past. For context, this is my story from my third year of university, when I was severely burnt out…
My burnout story
In 2018, I was in the second semester of my third year at Queen’s University, studying for my Bachelor’s in Psychology.
And believe me when I tell you that I was showing initiative!
I volunteered in a developmental psychology lab.
I spent extra hours in a neuropsychology lab for a course I was taking.
I worked casually for a student enrichment program.
I was trying to get back into a workout routine, so I was attending yoga classes every Tuesday evening.
At the same time, I had my regular, full-time coursework, the stress that comes along with being away from home, roommate drama, a long-distance relationship, and food allergies that I was trying to navigate.
“The ability to use your judgment to make decisions and do things without needing to be told what to do.”
But, in the mind of an over-achiever such as myself, “initiative” can sound more like taking on a task and returning it with 100% quality plus five additional, relevant side tasks.
As I went through each day with a jam-packed Google Calendar, a sad packed lunch, and an attempt at journalling through my feelings, the over-working, stress, and borderline burnout honestly didn’t feel like too much … that is, until I hit my head. Literally.
It was a silly fluke, but while I was getting ready for a Tuesday yoga class, I was using the washroom in the gym change room and didn’t notice that the door had something wrong. So, on my way out of the stall, WHAM!
It became kind of a funny story at first – silly Meg, letting a bathroom stall door hit her in the head. But, the headaches and discomfort lasted for about ten days before I decided it was time to get it checked out.
I remember being in a lab meeting, knowing that afterwards I would walk myself down to the hospital. I felt myself get the nerves you would get before a big presentation, but they just kept building.
I’ll leave this part of the story short because, from here, it’s honestly quite a blur:
I arrived at the hospital and had my heart rate checked at triage – it was well over 160 BPM, so I was told that they would see me pretty quickly. I waited and watched Dr. Phil.
I got a hospital bed and started doing some tests to see if I had a concussion, but quite quickly, I noticed that I was losing feeling in my hands and legs.
I was incredibly distressed and was told that they’d get someone else to help. It felt like forever, and I remember pressing the big red HELP button.
I was given a benzodiazepine to calm my panic, and the hospital staff delivering it to me knew that I had a psychology background, so they tried to calm me down as I took it by asking if I remembered how this benzodiazepine worked.
I was sent home, and my dad picked me up at 2 AM and took me back to my hometown. It was supposed to be for a day or two, but I stayed longer because the anxiety and panic persisted.
Given a few days away from school, including a missed midterm, I returned to my school town with my grandparents and settled back into my routine. I was thankful that Reading Week was just around the corner and I continued to journal through this process.
Takeaways from my experience with burnout
Overall, I wanted to share this story to remind myself and folks who might resonate with this story that burnout can evoke genuine physical and psychological consequences from overexerting ourselves at school, work, and in our personal lives. And it is not worth it.
If you have been in a similar place before, I hear you, and I so encourage you to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional. Burnout can take a real toll mentally, emotionally, physically, and more. It is worth checking in with yourself and taking care of yourself first before and while taking care of others, whether you work in clinical care or preventive care, or you’re a student or recent graduate working tirelessly to move along your academic and career trajectory.
One of the biggest lessons that I have learned from experiencing burnout intermittently throughout my academic career and even now as I’m working full-time is how to recognize when I really need to take a step back. It is still a difficult process, but with support from loved ones, my therapist, and my personal mental health toolkit, I have shone a light on a few of the main signs that my body and mind show when burnout is getting too extreme, such as tightness and discomfort in my body (e.g., overly tight back, headaches, stomach aches), racing thoughts, trouble sleeping, and just generally feeling over-committed. I love being a busy person and I thrive on days when I feel really productive, but I know that I can’t show up and be who I want to be if I’m feeling exhausted and unwell. So, I encourage you to find these signs for yourself and create a toolkit to combat these feelings of burnout. This process looks different for everyone, but an excellent place to start might be the resources below.
Resources for burnout
The line between burnout, anxiety and depression can be difficult to interpret. If your feelings of burnout affect your daily functioning in your personal, school, or work life, consider checking in with a trusted family member, friend, mentor, coach, or therapist.
Burnout is complex, and while it can be supported with individual-level interventions as I have listed below (e.g., education, stress reduction tools, access to support for moral distress), our collective response to burnout should also address improving workplace conditions, fostering supportive culture, relationships, and leadership – read more about preventing burnout holistically from the COVID-19 Advisory for Ontario (Science Table) here.
Shania Jagnandan, Boundaries & Burnout Coach
You might remember Shania from our podcast on Holding Space for People-Pleasers! Shania is a boundaries and burnout coach who supports recovering people-pleasers and over-achievers and helps them break through their stress and build new habits. She offers resources, workshops, and 1-on-1 coaching sessions to dive deeper into personal routines, boundaries at work, self-care practices, and relationships. If you’re feeling overworked, overtired, or burnt out, follow along with Shania or reach out for a complimentary coaching session!
Tools for Reducing Burnout and Finding Work-Life Balance
These actionable tools from Dr. Dike Drummond are so powerful and engaging. If you’re actively feeling burnt out and ready to make a change, check out this resource for tips on creating a life calendar and saying no, setting intentional date nights, and setting firmer work-life boundaries. Dr. Drummond is an author, speaker, and consultant on the subject of physician burnout.
Working with Clients with Burnout
If you’re reading this post because you’re interested in supporting others with burnout, this article from Dr. Alicia Nortje might be for you! This article dives into burnout’s signs and symptoms and provides you with tools and tips to gauge your clients’ burnout.
